Just Tonight
by morningsong101
Summary: Pre-series. Nathaniel and Ayani just want their Alicia back.


**If anyone here is willing to take a little time to help me figure out how to post on livejournal, that would be be greatly appreciated.**

##

He's been away for a couple of months. And, if the way things are at home are any indication, a couple months was too long. He hadn't even wanted to leave Wash and Ayani in the first place, not when they'd just gotten Wash back, but he'd had orders.

And to say they've gotten Wash back is only a half-truth. Yes, she's been rescued from her tormentors in Somalia, but it's not his-their-Wash that has been returned to them.

The Wash he meets when he comes home again is smaller, quieter. _Their_ Wash wasn't particularly chatty, but she wasn't adverse to throwing in her opinion during a conversation. This Wash? A fly on the wall. Shoulders hunched over, eyes averted, mouth typically sealed shut, this was a Wash he didn't like.

"Be patient with her." Ayani had said.

Nathaniel had been patient with her. He spent five days watching her push her food around her plate, five days of hearing short sentences, five days of her barely looking him in the eye.

Ayani was at a loss, which bothered Nathaniel. His wife was a crafty one, clever and caring to the core. She rarely ever not knew what to do, it caught him off guard when the day came that she finally admitted she didn't have a clue.

"I tried getting her to talk to someone, me even, but she just _wont_, Nathaniel." Ayani whispered.

"Has she been taking her medication?" he asked.

"Only when I make her."

Of course, that's Wash for you. She really had picked up his own habits-not taking medication being one of them.

Ayani propped herself up and stared at their open door. It was late, little after midnight, so the hallway was dark. The way his wife stared at it, you'd think she could simply will Wash to appear in their doorway.

And that was another thing that had changed. _His_ Wash, while reserved, loved spending time with them, especially in their bed. Loved the stolen kisses, the gentle, or sometimes not-so-gentle, touches. Considering what she'd endured for the past four months, he couldn't blame her for not being interested in sex. But every time she _hid_ from them, locked herself away...it got under his skin in a way he couldn't possibly explain.

A shrill sound reached his ears, nearly made him cringe. He'd heard it nearly every night since he got home. Ayani sighed and dragged a hand across her face. They both moved at the same time.

"I've got it." Ayani told him, gesturing for him to lie back down. He followed her out the door, though, tired of hearing Ayani try to get Wash to let her in. He turned on the hallway light.

Ayani knocked on the door, unable to walk in now that Wash locked her door at night-he might make a rule about that: no locked doors in this house.

The only answer was a loud whimper.

"Alicia? Open the door." Ayani said.

No answer.

"Alicia, please let us know that you're alright." Ayani pleaded. She knocked some more.

Another whimper, followed by a sob.

"Alicia-"

"I-I'm fine!" Wash called, her voice breaking as a quiet sob escaped her.

Taylor growled, fed up with the situation. He'd been patient, it was time to push a little.

He pounded on the door. "Wash, open the door."

"I'm fine."

"I'm not asking." he said. "Open the door, lieutenant. That's an order."

He waited in tense silence to see if she would disobey his order. If she did disobey, he wasn't sure what he would do. But he was betting on her opening the goddamn door.

It took longer than it should have, but she did as expected. The lock was turned and the door slowly opened.

She had obviously taken time to compose herself, try to appear like she wasn't in emotional hell. Her attempt at stoicism was ruined by the redness of her eyes, the way she tilted her head down, and how one arm wrapped itself around her stomach, as if that could protect her.

"Sir."

"Come to our bed."

"No thanks. I'm just..." Wash drew in a shaky breath. "I'm just going to go back to bed, sir."

"Alright, go back to bed, but in our room." Taylor said. Wash started to protest, but he silenced her with a look. "I'm not asking, Wash."

"Sir..."

"We're not going to do anything tonight, Alicia. Just sleep." Ayani promised her. "We'll leave the hall light on, too."

Nathaniel almost cringed, knowing that would insult Wash. But he'd heard the stories of how, upon first coming home again, Wash had needed light wherever she went. His blood boiled to think of what those men had done to make his once fearless lieutenant afraid of the dark.

Wash's face turned red. "I don't need-"

"Just for tonight." Ayani said. "Now, come to our room. Just for tonight at least."

"I don't-" Wash protested.

"Don't make me turn that into an order, lieutenant." Nathaniel said.

Wash clamped her jaws shut before slowly following them to their room. Ayani left the door open just enough to let some light in, which Wash pointedly ignored.

Before Wash was captured, they usually slept with Ayani on the right side of the bed, Nathaniel in the middle, and Wash on the left. But tonight it was about Wash. Ayani and Nathaniel parted to make room for the younger woman between them; tonight they were protecting her.

Still, Wash was very keen on not having their protection tonight. She didn't turn toward either of them, instead choosing to lay stiffly on her back.

"Alicia?" Ayani asked quietly. "Please don't be mad."

The way that Wash effected Ayani would never cease to amaze him. His wife was many things-clever, caring, stern, playful, scheming, sexy-but Wash brought out a softer side in her. One that would even ask someone not to be angry with her, as if that was one of the worst things that could happen.

There was silence for a moment before Wash answered back.

"I'm not." she whispered.

They lie still for the next few minutes. He's not feeling at all sleepy and he's fairly certain that neither is his wife. And it's got be impossible to go to sleep with your body as stiff as Wash's is.

He has questions. And he wants answers. He's already pulled rank on her, so he decided to just start with a simple question.

"How much sleep have you been getting?" he asked.

She shrugs. "Enough, sir." Alright, an answer. A damn lie, but it's a start.

"Are the nightmares keeping you up?"

"No, sir."

"Are you sure?" He let's his contempt for her lying leak into his voice.

"Yes, sir."

"Don't you lie to me, Wash." he warned. Three questions, and she's lied to him about each.

"I..." she starts. She shakes her head, almost frantically. Nathaniel would do just abut anything to get inside her head right now, understand what she's thinking.

"I'm going to ask you another question. Tell me the truth this time." he said.

"Yes, sir." she answered, whispering again. He wonders, if she raises her voice, will it break? Waver? Hitch?

"Have you been taking your medication?" He knows the answer, but it's better that Wash admits to these things on her own.

"No, sir."

He wants to tell her to stop calling him 'sir'. Right now he's trying to be Nathaniel for her, not Commander Taylor.

"Why?"

He watches as the young woman pulls her knees up, makes herself smaller.

"It doesn't help." she sounds so desperate, so broken, that it breaks his heart.

He tries to look her in the the eye, but she wont look at either of them. He allows it for the moment, if only because she's allowed Ayani to rest her hand on her stomach, next to the arm that Wash has wrapped around herself.

"What do you think will help?" Ayani asks.

The woman between them shakes her head again and squeezes her eyes shut.

"I don't know."

Nathaniel wishes he could go back, kill all the men that had hurt her. Or go back further and protect her better, keep her from being taken. But he can't. Instead, he gently takes her hand, hoping that she wont pull away from him

The young woman is shaking, badly. Through the tremors, she tightens her hand around his.

"I just don't _know_." she repeats, her voice soundly strangely choked.

Ayani presses a delicate, chaste kiss to Wash's right shoulder. "You don't have to know, my dear. We're here to help you figure it out."

Wash hesitantly turns onto her side and leans into Ayani, pulling Nathaniel's hand over her side so she doesn't have to let go. He can still feel her shaking, can now hear her breathing hitch and come out in gasps. He wont comment on the tears, knows it will push her away from them.

Nathaniel presses a kiss to her left shoulder. "You can't keep running from it, Alicia."

"O-okay, sir." Wash manages. "But just tonight..."

"We're not going anywhere tonight." he promises.

##


End file.
